Another Soap Opera
by rubbersoul1967
Summary: Heero is an ex-game show host of Japanese game show plotting to kill the Relena Peacecraft who is running for governor of Tennessee. Duo is a struggling singer & songwriter. Wufei is a former delivery boy of a Chinese restaurant. Quatre is a teacher a


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Another Soap Opera

By: Me

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I wrote the fic though.

Heero is an ex-game show host of Japanese game show plotting to kill the Relena Peacecraft who is running for governor of Tennessee. Duo is a struggling singer & songwriter. Wufei is a former delivery boy of a Chinese restaurant. Quatre is a teacher and Trowa is Relena's bodyguard.

Heero

Heero was in uhhh... San Antonio! Heero stood in the middle of a road in front of a Mexican Restaurant.

"How I despise Relena for some unknown reason that has to deal with my horrible, horrible past! She is gonna pay!" Heero yelled as he waved his fist in the air like the psycho he was.

"Weirdo!" A fifteen-year-old girl yelled.

"Now, to purchase some weapons and eat some delicious tamales I saw on that commercial!"

A 40-year-old woman ran up to him, "Can I go?"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Fine!"

"Yay! I am going on a date with a 28-year-old!"

"21."

"Double yay!"

Duo

Duo sat in a chair in a small room. He was having a interview with a representative of a record label.

"We can't hire you because we have too many female singer & songwriter solo artists!"

"I'm male!" He wailed.

"Besides you aren't buff enough! You look like a wimp!"

"What?" The man looked at Duo's cassette.

"'I gonna kill you muthafucka'? Why would anybody wanna to listen to that? There's just no soul in that."

"I wrote that when I was angry with my landlord, it does too have some soul!" Duo defensively replied.

"I'm sorry, if you want to become a singer why don't you go back to the sixties? Goodbye!"

"No! You can't treat me like that!" Duo screamed.

"Security! Get in here!" A burly woman grabbed him and sprayed pepper spray in his face.

"Wahhhh!" She then proceeded to drag him outside of the office.

"You'll be sorry when I become rich and famous!"

Wufei

Wufei was at the front door of a small apartment.

He knocked on the door and a teenage girl answered.

"I have your food."

The two stared at each other blankly for about five minutes.

"Here's the money."

The girl than took a jar of pennies to Wufei.

"Take care." Wufei impassively said.

"Wah! I don't know you!"

Wufei felt puzzled by her reply.

The teenager slammed the door. Wufei left the house and drove back to the Chinese Restaurant so originally and cleverly titled A Chinese Restaurant.

During his lunch break, Wufei washed the dishes because he didn't feel much like eating.

He then danced merrily with daisies and the violets, everything was ever so happy, then there was universal peace, the Beatle fans rejoiced as the Beatles all played 'Can't Buy Me Love', men understood women, women understood men, everybody was equal, and everyone held hands and sang, "Good Morning Star shine, The Earth says Hello!"(I apologize for the run-on.) All the evil of the world was banished. At the end of it all Wufei was found sleeping on the floor.

Relena

She was too busy campaigning for governor of umm... Tennessee. Hey wait a minute, I just got word that Relena is a communist!

Reporters were swarming around Relena's house. "Is it true you're a communist?" A reporter shoved a microphone into her face.

"I'm not a communist!" She yelled angrily.

"Well it said so in We Lie about Famous People's Lives just to Make Them Miserable and to Make Money Magazine!"

"I can assure I'm not a communist it is all lie."

"Your opponent also said you were a communist!"

Mr. Merquise! -.-Dramatic Music

"He lied; can you put this fine state into the hands of liar like him? No way! Vote Relena!" Relena boasted.

Heero

"They fired me today."

"How come?" Heero replied lazily.

"I fell asleep on the floor! I mean it was just a little nap!"

"Wufei, do you have any idea what time it is?"

"It's 2 PM."

"Exactly, I need my sleep. An old woman dragged me all over the damn place yesterday."

"God damn it you suck!"

"Okay, now goodbye!"

Heero hung up the phone and fell back into his sleep.

"I'm gonna get you Relena." Heero mumbled in his sleep.

Quatre

"Ok kids, this is the letter: A. Can you say A?" Quatre said sweetly while holding a piece of cardboard with the letter 'A' on it.

"Aaaa..." the class answered.

"Not Aaaa, it's A."

"A," The class replied obediently.

"Can you tell what words begin with A?"

A girl with cute blonde pigtails flailed her hand about.

"Ooh! Ooh! I know!" She yelled with anticipation.

Quatre look around the room and noticed her hand; he selected her.

"Alligator!"

"Good, are there any more words that begin with this letter?" Quatre smiled

A boy wearing glasses raised his hand.

"Yes, Willy?"

"Aren't we fifth graders?"

"Oh yeah..."

"Awww, thanks a lot, Willy!" The whole class yelled angrily.

"You guys should be thankful to him!" Quatre said with his finger in the air.

Trowa

"Relena, people are staring at us."

"Trowa, you should be honored to carry me on your back!" Relena said with her arms crossed.

"Seriously, my back's really starting to hurt."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She retorted.

Relena smacked Trowa on the head with her Harvard diploma.

"Sorry."

"Apology accepted! That stupid Zechs pisses me off. Everybody likes him just because he's a drama queen bishounen!" She crossed her arms.

"A bi-what?"

"Never mind."

Zechs

Zechs sat in his evil office of doom overlooking the cityscape. He sat in a black leather chair with his legs crossed.

"Why are you running against Relena?" His loyal servant, Noin, asked. "I mean isn't she...dramatic pause your sister?"

"Yes, but I want to teach her a lesson about humanity's true nature," Zechs grinned in an evil manner, "You see, man is a being that believes that only through deception can he achieve his dreams. In this election I'll use evil methods in order to become governor. If she wins then that means that there is hope for humanity after all, for this will prove that good can really triumph over evil."

Zechs stroke a pose as a gust of cherry blossom petals carressed his shape.

"Uh-huh..." Noin replied.

"Fetch me a burrito and a yogurt drink!" He commanded.

"Yes sir!"

Duo

"Man, I knew I should have brought a different tape!" Duo angsted at a table at a local diner.

Duo looked to his left and saw a woman being carried by man.

"What the hell?"

"Yeah, that is pretty strange!" A girl with blonde hair mused. She had strange eyebrows and she was holding a pair of golden binoculars looking at the man with the girl on his back. She stood uncomfortably close to Duo.

"Wah!" Duo backed away from the girl.

To be continued...

__

Well maybe...

I'm kinda lazy but I bet you could tell... .

I apologize if I misspelled anything. I check it with Microsoft Works. Sometimes I miss them or Microsoft Word doesn't catch them.


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